In recent years, some prominent Christians have been saying that, when dealing with homosexuals and trans people, we need to adopt a gentler tone. They believe a softer, gentler approach is the key to reaching these people, as many Christians have supposedly been too harsh and thus have driven them away.
I do believe that Christians who only make biblical arguments against homosexuality and transgenderism, saying these things are “sinful”, are not going to have much success. The problem with this approach is that a biblical argument alone isn’t likely to convince anyone who doesn’t already believe in the authority of the Bible.
When it comes to homosexuality, I recommend that Christians focus on making a “health” argument. They should argue that it is a self-destructive lifestyle. This idea is supported by a number of studies (all of which are cited and discussed in the previous article).
As for trans people, I wrote in Christianity 2.0 that you are never in pain for the reason you think you are. There is always something unconscious going on. As a result, you can’t trust what your conscious mind is telling you. It may tell you that you are in pain because you were born in the wrong body, but the source of your pain is likely something completely unrelated. Therefore, taking life-altering drugs (testosterone, puberty blockers) and undergoing dangerous surgeries to reconstruct your anatomy are almost certainly going to be mistakes that will only increase your pain and despair, not end it.
While I believe these approaches would be much more effective than making the “sin” argument, I’m not sure they would necessarily be perceived as being “softer” or “gentler.”
Here is the fundamental problem: Truth isn’t gentle. It’s often uncomfortable. It’s often painful. The truth can sometimes rip your guts out, but it is the only pathway to freedom.
I am speaking from my own experience here. When Manfred told me that I had been a selfish person my entire life, it shook me to my very core. It was incredibly painful. It did not make me feel good about myself. It damaged my self-esteem. But in the end, I’m glad he told me this, because it was something I absolutely needed to hear. Otherwise, I would have remained blind about my selfishness, and I never would have changed.
Therefore, the idea that a gentler tone is the key to bringing more homosexual/trans people into the church is something that I wholeheartedly reject. Telling an unrepentant homosexual or trans person that they are living a self-destructive lifestyle is probably going to offend them, no matter how you phrase it. But if they are indeed repentant and willing to change, then the “tone” of the conversation should be a non-factor.
These people need to understand something: You are supposed to change for the church. The church is not supposed to change for you. I’m sure some people will read this and say, “That’s cruel.” But homosexuals and trans people are not being asked to do anything that every other Christian isn’t asked to do. We all are required to change for the church. It is by completely surrendering to Jesus, by adopting him as our Lord and Savior, that we are transformed. But it does require complete surrender. There are no half measures.
Also, I’m skeptical that Christians have really been all that harsh towards homosexuals and trans people. These people tend to have a radical left ideology. Thus, many of them have been taught to view almost anything as a “micro-aggression.” Many of them have been conditioned to perceive mere disagreement with their lifestyle as deeply offensive. Thus, I can’t imagine that a gentler tone would possibly satisfy these people.
In addition, I think the perception that Christians have been cruel towards the homosexual/trans community is more the result of propaganda than reality. For decades, Hollywood and the left-wing news media have consistently portrayed Christians as mean, intolerant, hateful, and homophobic. Most Christian characters in Hollywood films and TV shows are laughable caricatures that don’t even begin to resemble the average Christian. Also, the Left has pushed hard the idea that no argument against homosexuality or transgenderism can possibly be in good faith. It can only be rooted in hate. This is utterly dishonest, and Christians are deluding themselves if they think the fault for Christianity’s tarnished image lies on our end.
Another problem is that many people misunderstand what the Christian path involves. They think it should be all sunshine and roses. They think it should be easy. They think it should only make them feel good about themselves. They think it should only make them happy. Unfortunately, this is simply not the case.
The Christian path is actually very difficult, regardless of whether you take the traditional path or the advanced path. As I’ve said, truth is painful. If you decide to pursue truth, you are going to experience great hardship, even suffering. You won’t be happy much of the time, as you be required to give up things that you don’t want to give up. Not only will the world attack you, but honestly looking at yourself will cause you to experience a lot of inner turmoil, as you realize you are not the wonderful person you imagined yourself to be. Your self-esteem will probably take a hit, at least in the short term.
For many homosexuals and trans people, this is a price they are simply not willing to pay. Instead, they want a religion that will conform to their wishes and desires. They want a religion that will coddle them. I suggest they go look elsewhere.
I do believe that Christians who only make biblical arguments against homosexuality and transgenderism, saying these things are “sinful”, are not going to have much success. The problem with this approach is that a biblical argument alone isn’t likely to convince anyone who doesn’t already believe in the authority of the Bible.
When it comes to homosexuality, I recommend that Christians focus on making a “health” argument. They should argue that it is a self-destructive lifestyle. This idea is supported by a number of studies (all of which are cited and discussed in the previous article).
As for trans people, I wrote in Christianity 2.0 that you are never in pain for the reason you think you are. There is always something unconscious going on. As a result, you can’t trust what your conscious mind is telling you. It may tell you that you are in pain because you were born in the wrong body, but the source of your pain is likely something completely unrelated. Therefore, taking life-altering drugs (testosterone, puberty blockers) and undergoing dangerous surgeries to reconstruct your anatomy are almost certainly going to be mistakes that will only increase your pain and despair, not end it.
While I believe these approaches would be much more effective than making the “sin” argument, I’m not sure they would necessarily be perceived as being “softer” or “gentler.”
Here is the fundamental problem: Truth isn’t gentle. It’s often uncomfortable. It’s often painful. The truth can sometimes rip your guts out, but it is the only pathway to freedom.
I am speaking from my own experience here. When Manfred told me that I had been a selfish person my entire life, it shook me to my very core. It was incredibly painful. It did not make me feel good about myself. It damaged my self-esteem. But in the end, I’m glad he told me this, because it was something I absolutely needed to hear. Otherwise, I would have remained blind about my selfishness, and I never would have changed.
Therefore, the idea that a gentler tone is the key to bringing more homosexual/trans people into the church is something that I wholeheartedly reject. Telling an unrepentant homosexual or trans person that they are living a self-destructive lifestyle is probably going to offend them, no matter how you phrase it. But if they are indeed repentant and willing to change, then the “tone” of the conversation should be a non-factor.
These people need to understand something: You are supposed to change for the church. The church is not supposed to change for you. I’m sure some people will read this and say, “That’s cruel.” But homosexuals and trans people are not being asked to do anything that every other Christian isn’t asked to do. We all are required to change for the church. It is by completely surrendering to Jesus, by adopting him as our Lord and Savior, that we are transformed. But it does require complete surrender. There are no half measures.
Also, I’m skeptical that Christians have really been all that harsh towards homosexuals and trans people. These people tend to have a radical left ideology. Thus, many of them have been taught to view almost anything as a “micro-aggression.” Many of them have been conditioned to perceive mere disagreement with their lifestyle as deeply offensive. Thus, I can’t imagine that a gentler tone would possibly satisfy these people.
In addition, I think the perception that Christians have been cruel towards the homosexual/trans community is more the result of propaganda than reality. For decades, Hollywood and the left-wing news media have consistently portrayed Christians as mean, intolerant, hateful, and homophobic. Most Christian characters in Hollywood films and TV shows are laughable caricatures that don’t even begin to resemble the average Christian. Also, the Left has pushed hard the idea that no argument against homosexuality or transgenderism can possibly be in good faith. It can only be rooted in hate. This is utterly dishonest, and Christians are deluding themselves if they think the fault for Christianity’s tarnished image lies on our end.
Another problem is that many people misunderstand what the Christian path involves. They think it should be all sunshine and roses. They think it should be easy. They think it should only make them feel good about themselves. They think it should only make them happy. Unfortunately, this is simply not the case.
The Christian path is actually very difficult, regardless of whether you take the traditional path or the advanced path. As I’ve said, truth is painful. If you decide to pursue truth, you are going to experience great hardship, even suffering. You won’t be happy much of the time, as you be required to give up things that you don’t want to give up. Not only will the world attack you, but honestly looking at yourself will cause you to experience a lot of inner turmoil, as you realize you are not the wonderful person you imagined yourself to be. Your self-esteem will probably take a hit, at least in the short term.
For many homosexuals and trans people, this is a price they are simply not willing to pay. Instead, they want a religion that will conform to their wishes and desires. They want a religion that will coddle them. I suggest they go look elsewhere.